You don't have to be miserable.Start a gratitude list.
Three to five things, on paper, first thing in the morning.
That's the whole first step. If you want more, keep going.
It's okay that you're here
You're in the right place. It's allowed. And it isn't what you feared.
Nobody told Mike that. Nobody said it would be okay to go, that the help was there, that it wasn't as miserable as it sounds. So he sat in it a year longer than he had to. If you're reading this in the chair, or in the parking lot after, you've already done the hardest part.
The rooms have said it to every newcomer for seventy years, in three words at the end of every meeting: keep coming back.
The gratitude list
Write down, on paper, three to five things you are grateful for, first thing in the morning. Not typed. Not spoken into a phone. Written. It changes the filter you see the rest of the day through.
It will feel too simple, and some mornings it will feel fake. Do it anyway. It is the first thing to change, and the other things follow from it.
Where it comes from
It is the program's own practice, handed from one person to the next in the rooms for decades. It is older than the program. Don Miguel Ruiz, in The Four Agreements, puts "the mastery of gratitude" in the same breath as the mastery of love and of life. Counting blessings was a practice long before either.
One man's day
These are from Mike's notebook, written the way they were written. One man's route, not yours.
The first one that hits the hardest, and everything else flows from, is gratitude. There is no one way to do anything. You find what works for you. But the map is clear. Write down — put on paper — inscribe — not type, not voice-to-text — write down 3–5 things that you are grateful for. Do it first thing in the morning. That changes the filter that you see the rest of the day in.
Mike's notebook
Some of this seems too simple to be of service, and it's so simple and easy that it can't work, so give me the hard nuggets so I can get down to some serious make-my-life-better stuff — or, my life is okay, I am already grateful, let's move on. (NO!!) These are the building blocks for everything.
Mike's notebook
As I kept refuting the intrusive the gratitude slipped into its place.
Mike's journal
Where to turn
A doctor or therapist can help.
If you're in crisis, call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, US, any hour), or your local emergency number.
For drinking or drugs, SAMHSA's helpline is free, confidential and open every hour: 1-800-662-4357.
What this is
Puddnhead is for the person who is miserable with a perfectly good life. The misery so thick you can't see any joy around you. Not knowing it can be overcome, and thinking there are no options when every option is open.
It gives that person two things: first, the fact that the misery can be overcome; then the method. It never prescribes. It hands you a map, and the map is the same for everyone; but every terrain is different, so the route is your own.
The map is drawn from two sources: what the science can show, and what the old wisdoms have shown for longer. Use it with your program, not instead of it. It is not treatment, and it does not replace care.
Puddnhead is a non-profit in the making, so that the map is never sold.